Thursday, October 15, 2009

Describe the Characteristics of Your Perfect Friend

My perfect friend is someone who doesn’t exist. Perfection requires too much effort and the ability to control things that were never in their control. It is unfair and detrimental to expect this from anyone. Perhaps, then, the prompt is impossible to answer. If I set aside the idea of perfection, I am still able to describe a good friend, a close friend, a friend that I would value highly.

My good friend is someone I can connect with. We would have things in common. Some of these things in common would be in our lives. Having young children, enjoying the same hobby, the same TV shows, traveling, just about anything. It is likely this thing would change frequently as time passed. In addition, we would have similar views in our values. Connection really is about understanding and the ways to achieve this are numerous.

Dependability is also important to me. It bothers me to no end when people don’t follow through. I know that everyone drops the ball. Dependability takes time to build. It is not a one time shot. When someone continuously shows me that I can depend on them for menial tasks, such as showing up or not cancelling, I trust that I can depend them with more important things. This brings us closer because we start to share more personal things.

I also highly respect honesty in my friends. Honesty is incredibly important. Not just being honest to me, but to all those around them. For me, honesty includes talking to be spiteful or mean spirited behind other’s backs. I don’t mind if people share their opinions or personal experiences, but there is a limit to what is appropriate. When it becomes gossip, it has gone too far. It also includes those little white lies we all need to hear to keep our self-confidence. They are the little lies, like not telling about a surprise party just because someone asks if they are having one.

What it comes down to is knowing that you can call someone about anything anytime and knowing they will be there to support you OR set you straight. I can’t get there unless I feel connected, can depend on the person, and know they are going to be honest with me. Everything else is secondary.

**** Although I was excited about this prompt last night, I am really struggling with it. I don’t know if it is an off night or that the topic is just too big to tackle in the time I have to devote to it. I don’t like it at all. So please don’t be too harsh in your critique! I know this is my worst piece thus far. Let’s hope they don’t sink too much lower. ***


  1. I like this one, Heather. It is not something that is easy to write (I was also struggling with it). Your words are true in every sense and that's what I like about it. It is honest and I agree with your definition of a good friend (and that the "perfect" friend doesn't exist and that it IS detrimental and unfair to expect someone to be.

  2. This is more clear and concise that I think you realize. It isn't a great work of literature but it is an easy flow and really isn't your worst bit. I don't ever think in that way.

    PS I am probably going to not write today or tomorrow. Things are just a bit nuts. And the pigs may have landed at my house. Ug

  3. Vicki- I hope whoever was kissing the pigs feels better soon.