Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Love from a prompt: tutor, fourth, equate, regrettably

Everyone knows that boy meets girl plus boy and girl fall in love is suppose to equate to boy and girl marry and live happily ever after. Regrettably, that is not my story. Or rather, it is many of my stories... except the happily ever after part. I met John in high school. We were more than just dating. We were an item. I reveled in the jealousy of my friends over having such a great relationship. John and I married the summer after graduating from Washington High. I was a college student by day and a waitress by night. He was an auto mechanic, whom I found out later had a penchant for younger women. My sophomore year of college consisted of advanced biology and divorce papers.

My junior year, I met Ronald. He majored in physical education, but had no desire to work with children or in a school. He was hoping to become a personal trainer for the stars. I was caught up in his dream of meeting celebrities and living life large in California. After six years of marriage, I woke up and realized that he had a better relationship with the gym and that I desperately wanted children. He was opposed to making changes. I celebrated my 27th birthday with the legal papers noting our divorce was final and a plate of fried cheese curds.

Then, I met Mark, a police officer who pulled me over for speeding. He was handsome, stable, independent, interested in me and children. We dated for two years before setting a wedding date. I wanted to be sure this relationship included me as an important member and had plenty of expectation for additional members. After 38 months, it was still the two of us with little hope on the horizon. We tried everything to increase our family: home remedies, old wives tales, in vitro fertilization, adoption, surrogate motherhood, and others. Those four years were filled with disillusion and disappointment. Our relationship crumbled with each negative response until there was nothing but rubble and dust between us. Mark has remarried and has three beautiful children.

My options for men were unwanted. I no longer needed a relationship to define me. I realized my option for children was to change careers to one that involved them instead of rodents. I began working as a tutor and volunteering at the library when I wasn't assisting as a classroom aid in the schools. That's how I met Paul. His son was struggling in almost every subject area. Diligently, I worked on the team until he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Then I worked hard to support Paul in adapting to the educational and wider world demands that come with a child with a disability. After many intensive hours helping his son's grades improve and several cups of coffee with Paul, I knew this could be my new family.

Tomorrow, Sunday, I am giving this story a fourth try, and keeping my fingers crossed for a happily ever after ending with my husband and our wonderful son.


  1. I like this story of a life and the loves in it. there is no real bitterness which is good. There is hope through out.

    I have to say I giggles over John having a thing for younger women what he is 19 younger women ha. girls!

    Ok maybe I am old.

    This had a lot of typos but than I am not one to talk there.

  2. I pictured John being closer to 21, but yeah...still the same thing. There aren't many numbers smaller (and legal) than that.

    I only caught one big typo. What are the other ones?

  3. What a story. You say so much in so little! Neat. Her third husband is now remarried with three children. She's the one who can't. Good luck to her!

    The other typo: first paragraph "we we more than just dating." you meant, "we were more than just daing."